So I'd forgotten the world existed pre-6am. It is not a nice place.
I felt quite out of place stood on the platform waiting for my train. There I was wearing bright purple jeans and converse amongst a sea of nothing but brown/black/charcoal grey formal wear. The journey down was uneventful, but somewhat emotional.
Things that nearly made me cry:
-A 5 minute period where I received LOTS of lovely good luck messages from people on Facebook.
-Butterflies and Hurricane coming on my iPod
-Some lovely text messages from people.
-The fact neither of my sisters, bothered to text/call to even acknowledge I was going :/
I found the rush hour tube to be most um-enjoyable, but got to Barons Court (which apparently is closer than Hammersmith it so isn't) just about 10am, so I had 45 minutes to walk the short distance to the clinic... yes it was a short distance through some slightly dodgy side streets (IMO at least I'm from a small town) and although I was outside the main hospital by ten past it took me another 25 minutes to find the clinic as the access is down a side street and there is nothing but a small sign saying it's even there (probably for obvious reason). During my hunt for the clinic a cockney white van man shouted "Nice strides, mate" at me in reference to my purpleness :D
I was beginning to panic a lot, as I really wasn't keen to ask the general public if they knew where it was, and all I could get was an engaged tone when I tried to call them. The that panic, was replaced by relief which was replace by the panic of "OMG I'm here, this is it"
I think I was more nervous because I'd read some bad things about the guy I was seeing to the extent people said they would cancel any appointment they were given with him. The truth however was completely different. He was lovely, quite jovial, eccentric, and super super intelligent. He is just one of those people that talks none-stop and flies off on bizarre tangents all the time, who just wants to engage you in a conversation. To quantify this my appointment overran because we were discussing Totoro and various other Japanese things. He was quite blunt at times, not nasty just very blunt. I think this is how he assesses the mental state and strength of people, because I'm quite sure if I was deep in depression like I have been I wouldn't have been able to cope as well with the way he converses. I can sort of understand why some people don't like him, but I have no problems with him. Watch my 2nd appointment will be with the one all the people on the forums rave about, and I'll hate him :D
So yeah it went pretty well and I got the impression he has no problems with me wanting to transition, although I have to get a 2nd opinion next time I go.
The upshot of it all is he thinks I a)Need to get a job(no shit) b)come out properly and just get on with my life. He's told me to plan my transition before my next appointment (I don't know went that will be yet a few months probably)
He sent me on my way with a form to get some bloods done at the hospital, this is a good sign as there were liver-y type tests as well as the usual diabetes one. Liver tests have to be done before the prescribing of hormones. So he's obviously looking to that outcome eventually.
Afterwards I met a friend for a coffee, which was most appreciated. It gave me a chance to talk about the appointment, and just chat in general, until I came back into the real world. I did a brief detour to the Disney store (shock!) where there was quite a large group of French girls who were singing along to 'Gaston' which was quite amusing.
I was glad to get on the train home, because I was knackered. Then less glad as it was delayed for 45mins because some bloke decided to sit in front of another train near Tamworth.
All in all it went about as well as I could have hoped. I'm going to chill a bit until next Monday because I've been really really stress over this for the past couple of weeks and just need a little down time. But then the hard work and planning has to start.
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